I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
