Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
