I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
