I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
