so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
too bad you live with your parents still
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
