No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I need moral support for this bender
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize