you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
