I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i think im in europe. pls send help
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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