you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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