sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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