it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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