My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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