I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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