Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
