So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
