I just cut my nipple shaving
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
