I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
