here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
