if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
we're so committed to being not committed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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