i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
