You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
