omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
