I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize