What did we do last night that was yellow?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
