I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
