i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
