I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
