Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
