she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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