We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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