if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
