the condom got lost in my hair
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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