Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just pynch a tree in the face
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
