Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..