I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize