We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
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Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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