Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
