You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
That accounts for only three of the penises
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.