Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
