I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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