Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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