So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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