Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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