Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
