is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
