I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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