I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
