I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
