3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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