U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize