yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
