Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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