She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
