Cold hands, warm shart.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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