On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
