I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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