You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
