Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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