Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
