As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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