you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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