Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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