If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
