I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
